Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Swag.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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