I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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