Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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