Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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