How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

guest what i love pancakes

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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