Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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ur mum

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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I have an erection My mom!

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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123 f*ck off

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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