Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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