What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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