What is a jew in space? Dead

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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