A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

charlie sheen becomes sober.

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

so the weather's nice...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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