How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What's big and long? My dick.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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25

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops