Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Women's rights

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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