What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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