Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +32

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops