UN

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops