Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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