Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

So a man walks into a bar, right?

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...