In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops