what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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