Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops