What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

Sometimes i'm hungry.

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...