Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Hey Shea

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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