How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops