What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Women's rights

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops