Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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