Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops