Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

My wife made me a sandwich

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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