Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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A man walks into a bar

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops