what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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yada yada

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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