steven hawking walks into a bar

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Manchester City

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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