There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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eat a hot dog

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops