A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Your mom.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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