Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

Kevin and Ramin

Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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