A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

I like the color potato.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

Nero, sure you are okay?

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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