Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What the hell are you doing?

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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