What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops