What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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