What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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