What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops