blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops