How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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