Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Mogok Papiti.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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