Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your brother so fine that hes skinney

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

thumb_up thumb_down +7

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops