Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops