Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

when debbie meets downer

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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