5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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