Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

minorities

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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