Stop me if you heard this one before.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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learn. advance!

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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