Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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