Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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