What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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