Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Swag.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

............................................................................................................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .thumbs up!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops